Discipline is more than punishment for misbehaviour. It is the means by which we teach our children good conduct now and for the future. Every mistake a child makes can become an opportunity for new learning.
Here are four rules that can guide you:
Accentuate the positive
Let the child know you appreciate them doing things that are important to you.
For example: thank them for helping you keep the house neat by picking up/putting away toys and their own personal belongings. If he/she forgets, don’t reprimand, gently remind them that it makes more work for you so less time for play/fun.
Minimise the negative
Pay more attention to the things your child does well than to the mistakes. Without thinking, we often take for granted those behaviours of children that please us. Then we exaggerate out of proportion the things they do wrong. This approach can backfire, because children tend to repeat the behaviours that get most attention.
For example: the more you ask a child to stop playing with her food, the more he/she may do it. Instead try complimenting their eating well. It shouldn’t be long before you begin to see a change for the better.
Explain your expectations
Let your child know what you expect of them. Try to keep your expectations fair, reasonable, and sensible. Explain them to the child. If they know what you expect it will be easier to please you and avoid disapproval. This will prevent unnecessary misunderstanding and hurt feeling.
For example: explain that you expect them to be in bed at a particular time. Have a bedtime story as part of the routine. Explain that if you have to repeatedly prompt the child to get ready for bed then there will be no time for a story. Let them know what you expect as well as what they can expect when they do not fulfil their part of the bargain.
Be consistent
Decide what is important to you. Then try to be consistent in your expectations and responses.
For example: suppose you have a rule about not playing onthe sofa with shoes on. Don’t ignore it one day because you are not feeling great and shout the next day because it’s getting on your nerves. It is not always easy to behave toward our children as we would want. Accept this, but try to improve.
