- Ignore– Sometimes some behaviour shoudl be ignored. Taking no notice of attention seeking behaviour makes it less rewarding and it often stops
- Negotiation – Involve your child or young person in discussions about what are adequate boundaries and sanctions. If everyone is involved in these decisions it is more likely that they will be realistic and young people will feel ownership of them and therefore more willing to stick to them.
- Distraction – Good for very small children. Distract their attention away from what you don’t want them to do. For example, child poking at electric sockets/cables, distract them with their favourite toy or take them away and show them something more interesting.
- Humour – Humour can defuse a situation. This can be used as long as the child does not feel that she/he is the butt of the joke.
- Reality – Be realistic in your expectations of your child. Remember the child’s age and ability and always make fair, reasonable and appropriate rules and boundaries accordingly.
- Be Positive – Try and use positive words and language rather than negative commands all the time. For example, say “stay on the footpath” rather then “don’t go on the road”. Changing how you say things will mean that the child does not always associate you with negative commands and language all the time.
- Withdrawing Privileges – Useful for serous misbehaviour. Examples might be; no play station or computer, no TV, loss of pocket money, can’t go somewhere, grounding etc.
- Say it and mean it – you must follow your sanctions through if you are to be effective, regardless of how you are feeling. When dealing with a small child don’t assume they understand what you want so;
- Stay calm
- Use a different tone of voice so the child knows you are serious
- Get and give undivided attention when dealing with issue
- Get eye contact
- Give clear instructions and repeat if necessary
- Change your tone – Sometimes changing your tone and the volume of your voice can be enough to stop a fraught situation getting worse. For example, if children are playing up in the car, shouting can just raise the volume and make things more stressed and dangerous for the driver. However lowering the tone so the children have to strain to listen can quieten them down immediately. This can work just as well with teenagers, especially when they are expecting you to start shouting. It can really get their attention.
- Praise and Reward – Don’t ignore good behaviour and attitudes. Remember to let a child know they behaved well, either in a lone situation or towards others. Rewards do not have to be material things, in fact many parents who have used material rewards report that the rewards just got bigger and bigger and young people can grow to expect them. Real praise and encouragement is the best reward as it can be inspirational for child and builds self esteem. Example, say “you were very well behaved at Granny’s today” or “I was pleased to see you being kind to your friend”.
- Be a Role-Model –You are your child’s role-model. Therefore it is your responsibility to show, by your behaviour and attitude, how you want your child to behave. It should be “Do as I do, not do as I say”.
- Allow Consequences – As they get older encourage children to think for themselves and take reasonability for their choice to follow through. Example, if your child refuses to eat their dinner, they will not be allowed dessert.
- Consistency – Remember to be consistent regardless of where you and child are, or who is present. Children need to know where they stand. It is important that other adults in the child’s life support your wishes and boundaries. Consistency is particularly important for some children with disabilities therefore repetition of instructions may be the only way for a child to remember it.
